In an uncertain economic environment, business and supple chain experts everywhere are looking for methods to help families cut costs across the country. In particular, financial advisors are looking to the cereal market as a target in their pursuit of cost-saving measures. Collaborating with economists specializing in retail marketing, they have determined a substantial negative effect of free toys in cereal boxes in households nationwide.

“It’s a shame really. These companies are tricking families everywhere about the true costs of their cereal. Free toys? I can’t even believe it,” one financial expert said. “our studies show that Big Cereal has slowly increased their prices per ounce of cereal and have reduced the quality of each cereal grain produced, but at what cost? Free cereal toys – cars, puzzles, action figures – is a ruse designed to suck cash from the everyday working family. Big Cereal knows what they’re doing.”

“I mean, you can’t even get those toys in regular stores – that’s how bad quality they are. And that justifies an 8 cent price increase? I can’t fathom the depths to which Big Cereal will go to increase their profit margin. Free? I don’t want any more of such false claims in the grocery store.”

“I bought five boxes – five – you hear that? And I didn’t even get the car with the cool flames on it. Capitalism at its worst.”