Frontpage

The Latest that the Media Doesn’t Want You to Know

Politics

Area Politicians Derive New Advanced Statistic to Show that Coronavirus is Actually Waning, Reject Their Previous One

Lawmakers in Wakeview county have recently adopted a new metric that shows coronavirus has actually been on the decline across America. The new measure of coronavirus takes in account the number of cases in each region, case growth rate, test positivity, coronavirus media numbers, and a number of other statistics that have been kept confidential.… Continue reading Area Politicians Derive New Advanced Statistic to Show that Coronavirus is Actually Waning, Reject Their Previous One

Federal Commission Rules That Coughing on People to Spread Coronavirus is Insider Trading

Spreading coronavirus to influence the markets will now be considered insider trading and subject to up to five years in federal prison, according to reports. The move by lawmakers is expected to quell the ebbs and flows that have been shaking the markets recently, as traders react strongly to new reports of virus surges and… Continue reading Federal Commission Rules That Coughing on People to Spread Coronavirus is Insider Trading

Tooth Fairy to Increase Payouts as Part of Next Wave of Congressional Relief Programs

Congress is preparing another wave of relief programs for households to weather more months of potentially stagnant economic landscape, reports indicate. After the Paycheck Protection Program was deployed through the CARES Act and extended on June 5, lawmakers and economists have begun drafting another round of stimulus to directly relieve households most in need. “We… Continue reading Tooth Fairy to Increase Payouts as Part of Next Wave of Congressional Relief Programs

Business

Hamburger and Hamburger Bun Vendors Agree on More Inconvenient Package Count, Boost Sales

Rocked by the economic slump over the past couple months, prominent hamburger and hamburger bun producers have finalized a deal to make a more inconsistent package count for two reason: to reverse their declining sales and to decrease its consumers’ morale. Previously, packages of burgers and buns were commonly sold in groups of eight and… Continue reading Hamburger and Hamburger Bun Vendors Agree on More Inconvenient Package Count, Boost Sales

Science & Tech

New Machine Learning Algorithm Talks Educational Burnout, “I’m Going to Make Time for Myself”

The Artificial Intelligence revolution seems to not only be requiring new workers to hit the books, but its bots as well. Countless numbers of workers and functions in the economy depend on machine learning algorithms to learn from swaths of data every second. We talked to an AI program about this Herculean task and how… Continue reading New Machine Learning Algorithm Talks Educational Burnout, “I’m Going to Make Time for Myself”

Econ 102 Student in Contention for Nobel Prize After Commenting “Correlation Doesn’t Necessarily Imply Causation”

Professor Nielsen could not have been more surprised from her class discussion last week. Little did she know that a potential Nobel Laureate was in her vicinity. “It was just awe-inspiring. I was teaching my class about the relationship between oil prices and the macroeconomic health and all of a sudden, he just blurted it… Continue reading Econ 102 Student in Contention for Nobel Prize After Commenting “Correlation Doesn’t Necessarily Imply Causation”

More from The Stupid Stat

Top Universities, in Race to Boast the Lowest Admission Rate, Start Kicking People Out in Order to Achieve Negative Acceptance Rates

“Look. If we’re higher on the USNews Rankings then we get more alumni donations, simple as that. And I mean, who doesn’t want the clout of being the hardest school to get into. That’s why we started our new policy – we were heading in this direction anyways and it was just inevitable. We’re just… Continue reading Top Universities, in Race to Boast the Lowest Admission Rate, Start Kicking People Out in Order to Achieve Negative Acceptance Rates