Congress is preparing another wave of relief programs for households to weather more months of potentially stagnant economic landscape, reports indicate. After the Paycheck Protection Program was deployed through the CARES Act and extended on June 5, lawmakers and economists have begun drafting another round of stimulus to directly relieve households most in need.

“We have been working with the Department of Health and Human Services to identify discrepancies in welfare programs,” a key economist said. “The inefficiency in Tooth Fairy compensation per tooth is striking: tooth payouts have increased 50% over the past five years for households in the 90th percentile of income. For those in the bottom 50%, the payout growth hasn’t even surpassed the inflation rate.”

The new program will most notably raise the previous compensation floor of 25 cents to $5.50 per tooth for single child households and $4.50 for households with multiple children. And, the bill will now allot Tooth Fairy payments to elders and other adults who lose their teeth over time or by injury, providing $12.00 for each adult tooth.

“The new measures target the households most in need of financial relief: households with multiple young children or elders. It helps ease the frictions in some of the most unstable communities rocked by the effects of the coronavirus and makes a relatively small dent in the government’s wallet,” one of the lawmakers clarified.

The bill is expected to pass in the House by next week, and committee is optimistic it will make it to the president’s desk. This will be the first time since 1970 that Tooth Fairy compensation numbers will be reviewed.

The Tooth Fairy commented, “It’s long overdue, really. You know how cheap it feels to just give quarters to kids? It’s not the 20th century anymore. Just please, don’t pull out all of your teeth for a quick buck. Or others’, for that matter. Please.”